The Mourning After

The Truth Of The Matter, we’re in mourning


The mourning after the biggest disappointment of my life is truly ‘ a coming of age’ reckoning. The very thing I feared would happen, happened. I only wanted a better future for my grandsons, One free of the rampant racism I experienced at their ages. Now, they are little boys crying their eyes out. The truth of the matter is they fear the unknown. My mother prepared me for this day and now I must pass those same lessons on to them. The reality of hate is front and center in their development going forward. The unknown is now known. Takeaway, the beast is unleashed.

In this year of thrusting forward, I’ve had to accelerate many facets of my learning curve. Little did I realize I’d have to pull out lessons from long ago to aid others. Lessons I wanted to chalk up to busy classwork. Lessons that now have to guide the remainder of this transition year for me. I encourage you to learn from my lessons and to pass along your own learning to those in your sphere of influence.

With ‘steely determination,’ is lesson one Moma taught me. Whatever your goal, no matter the many forces working against you, press on. Hillary Clinton personified that in her historic run for the White House. We all knew this country wasn’t ready to accept a woman president, but we went for it anyway. In her run, she included all of us. Her desire to bring us all along with her was her undoing. Two parties, two worldviews. Our view lost out terribly. We wanted a woman, we wanted parity. We wanted unity. We didn’t get these things. Some ask, if not now, when?

Lesson two, no amount of money can change the core of who you are as a person. Money reveals you. In a normal world, love trumps hate. This is not a normal world in 2016. Globalization and the technological revolution made some of us complacent to the underbelly that rejects both tenets of globalization and technology. We thought we couldn’t go backwards. We just did. People born with a leg up definitely don’t desire to give that same advantage to those who weren’t. Whatever it takes to keep mine, even if my parents stole it to give it to me, I feel like it’s mine. And if I have to blow up my spot to keep you from getting it, so be it! Possession is nine tenths of the law. He will write his own laws to keep them advantaged.

Speaking of the law, lesson three. I was taught that you follow the law because your black skin will bring swift and severe consequences if you don’t. you can’t mourn about it if you know up front. The resentment factor is only relative to those who don’t look like me. I take exception to how I’m treated and I could end up dead and where is the law then? After the fact won’t help me. I told my children enough. They believed me. I prepared them for this day, but my concern are my grandsons. I must teach them the law is not on their side, their skin requires them to pay the same tax I had to pay. The ‘black tax’ will never be repealed.

Finally, lesson four, what’s for you is for you! don’t mourn, persevere. No matter what, go after your goal all the way and you won’t be denied. The only one who can disappoint you ultimately is you. When it goes dark in your life, turn on your flashlight and thrust forward. Despite the prevailing underbelly of hate that boiled over because of the ascension of our first black president, Hillary’s campaign gave me hope. Put your best foot forward. The inherent belief that we are better than this is an individual truism that has to carry you across your personal finish line. I’m headed toward my finish line despite this terrible travesty our country is experiencing. I encourage you to stay focused and plow straight ahead.