What season are you in?
Just like the weather in Houston can go through all four seasons in a day, so can my moods. I often wonder what today would be like if I extended different seasons of my life. No telling how much money I could have made had I pursued a different major I sometimes think. What about Lee, he should have been the one. Maybe. Three years definitely wasn’t long enough to teach abroad. Just a few of my occasional musings. I read a book by Dr. Lois Evans thirty years ago titled, ‘Seasons of a Woman’s Life.’ I won’t reveal all that’s in the book because all women need to read it. But, suffice it to say it impacted my life in a very real way.
Seasons are transitions from one cycle of weather to another. They are marked by tell tale signs that we come to recognize like the changing of the color of the leaves in the fall, or the blossoms in the spring. As we age, our bodies develop their own tell tale signs of upcoming seasonal transitions. Our mere maturity from infant to adult goes through many seasons or transitions. And that’s where I want to stay right now. I’m the adult God designed me to be. Finally, I feel free being me. I transitioned from ambivalence. through unrealistic expectations, am now initiating my life’s action plan. owning my space and urgent to be about it.
Ambivalence is the transition out of your current situation or season and into the next one. Ambivalence is disharmony. Your feelings are both positive and negative about the situation that has you so conflicted. Ambivalence is disharmony because you’re basically talking yourself into something and right back out of that same something. I have so many wonderful memories of my mother, especially for her off the cuff remarks. One in particular concerned my choosing a college. I waffled and wavered and finally, she’d had enough. Charlette, shit or get off the pot! I was startled, stunned, embarrassed and laughing all at the same time. Believe you me I made a decision that day. Even if the decision turns your life sideways for a minute, you’ve lived long enough to straighten it out if you want to. Don’t let ambivalence kill your ‘want to.’
Expectations of yourself and everyone around you are like weeds in a garden. You look up one day and it’s overwrought with weeds. I would sometimes find myself gazing out wondering where all this turbulence in my life came from. I did so much for them and their kids, they owe me. If it wasn’t for me he wouldn’t be where he is now. I need to get down there and help them. If I’m not there doing it, it won’t get done, I still have my own list to finish, The kids won’t notice if I’m late, I just have one more errand to run for sister so-and-so. On and on until one day I stepped back and said no more. These weeds needed to be pulled. Hardly any of that was necessary. Some expectations you have of yourself and others are mere distractions acting as cover , tricking you into believing that’s what’s stunting your growth this season.
Initiate an action plan of tilling and pruning your soil to get ready for your growing season. See the work, do the work. Pull the weeds. Stop doing what you think others need you to do. Do what others ask you to do if it doesn’t conflict with what is best for you. Throw the weeds into the fire. There are some relationships that need to be pruned, discarded, thrown in a heap and burned. Recognize the distraction for what it is. Raise your hand when you need help. You aren’t going through this alone. One of the benefits of tilling your soil, is clearing your vision to actually see who and what is around you.
Own your season. You’ve finally put the trash out and now look around at your opportunities to grow unhindered. It’s your time and you’ve done more than your fair share for others. They’ve hijacked your purpose long enough. Own your right to rise and shine. Declare, I did that! And I’m just getting started.
Urgency is the clearest indicator that your season is in full bloom. You feel like you’re in a contest to grab as many benjamins as you possibly can in thirty seconds. Your action plan is crystal clear. Your purpose is clearly stated. You’re up to the task because the shackles are off . Shaking your head from side to side visualizing winning the challenge. The smile is real and vibrant showing a side of you that you haven’t seen in a minute. The buzzer sounds and you are transformed into a benjamin-grabbing beast. Laughter is bubbling up because you realize you’re happy. You’re incredibly proud and screaming inside, I’m doing this!!!
I grabbed more benjamins than I ever dreamed possible for little old me. Reality is that you’ve transcended from little old me into the new and present me, I’m my best me now, present and accounted for. Finding fun in living in the moment, my season, My life’s purpose is the reason for the season. People begin to wonder why I experience a spontaneously combustion of laughter for no apparent reason. Finally, I can profitably share my seasons past and look forward to the upcoming ones.
That’s all it took to do it was to do it. This season of purpose is the one that lasts the longest. At least I want it to for me. I can do more for others when I’m doing right by me. This is your season.