source Men’s Anti-Violence Council

Now if you follow us on Facebook you will know that reality tv upsets me. But I want to clear some things up. I am not against reality tv. In fact, I watch many reality shows. But I am against the negative portrayal of women from reality shows and the influence they seem to have on society. Now I understand how popular the ‘wives’ series or any series on E tv, MTV, VH1, Style, Oxygen etc has become.

Not going to lie I watched The Real Housewives of Orange County when they first came out because they said it was like a “reality” version of Desperate Housewives. And at that time I was obsessed with Desperate Housewives. Haven’t watched it in years though. It became old and redundant just like the ‘wives’ reality series. The influence a nd power these ladies have over a lot of women would make me think highly of them if they behaved as grown women. We live in a society that is easily influenced and most likely will follow whoever is hot at that moment. So it is unsettling that these women make bad behavior their way to influence their “brands.” I see my twitter TL fill up on certain nights of the week berating these ladies, talking about them and downright applauding their actions. That makes me think, “is this the ‘brand’ these ladies are wanting to display?” These ladies have the entire country talking about them the day of the show and the next day. It would make me feel better if more people were talking about the positive reality shows. Yes there are many such as Welcome to Sweetie Pies, Party at Tiffany’s, Chelsea Settles, The Duggars (yes its fascinating watching them with all those kids), Tia & Tamara, Braxton Family Values, Tiny & Toya, The Family Crews, All American Muslim, My 600-Pound Life, Hoarders, Hoarding: Buried Alive to name the ones I consistently watch or watched. When these shows are on I rarely hear anyone talking, tweeting or blogging about them. Now my blog is not based on reality tv or pop culture as to why I personally don’t have posts dedicated to them. If you actually sit and watch any of these shows you will see that they can have the same influence if given the chance. In the positive shows these people have real jobs ( not hosting parties at clubs like some of the other reality ‘stars’) and showcase their real life (minus the heavy editing). So after years of killing brain cells watching trashy reality tv I have given it up. I only watch the shows that have a more positive appearance and ones that I feel have the influence I feel is better for younger girls to look up to.

I want young girls to see that they can be business women and it does not include smiling in pictures holding someone else’s product. I want young girls to know they can have a loving and most importantly healthy relationship or marriage. I want young girls to know that resolving conflict doesn’t mean putting your hands on other people. I want young girls to know that real friends will be there for you after the camera and lights dim. I want young girls to know that sisterhood bonds amongst girlfriends do exists and are a healthy part of relationships. Most importantly I want young girls to know that if you have to change who you are to fit into the stereotype to be on a reality show or live up to that perception of women then you will live a unfufilled life. Changing for someone else will only make you try harder to please them and less time building and empowering yourself to be the person you are meant to be. This rant applies to grown ladies as well. Women behaving badly is not the influence and power you want associated with the legacy you are building for yourself.

Fact is a fact. Reality TV  is here to stay. It’s been around since the 1940s and then when MTV created Real World in the 1990s it gained momentum. But reality tv has been on between that time frame. They had little impact or influence but thanks to Survivor in the 2000s reality tv has become a mainstay on many networks. It’s also less expensive to run a reality show than a scripted show so we all know they will be here for an extended 15 minutes.

Now what power does reality tv have over your life? Can you go a week without watching, tweeting or reading blogs focused on reality tv? Can you separate your life from that of the people in the shows? Does reality tv actually have power and influence over society?

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